SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!

CLEAN MY HOUSE!!!! Seriously. It's filthy. Okay, not filthy...because I always sanitize, but there is stuff EVERYWHERE. Ping pong paddles on the floor, stacks of laundry begging to be folded, dishes, empty bottles, recycling containers, CLOTHES...everywhere! Not to mention, most of Caden's toys are in my bathtub, and most of my bath stuff is in Caden's toy box. Why he feels the need to switch them out? I'll never know. I need my cabinets and drawers Caden-proofed. He pulls EVERYTHING out. WHY?! What's so fun about throwing perfume bottles? What's so fun about throwing q-tips everywhere?! I take advice from people "keep your bathroom doors shut" But the little boogar knows how to open them! He broke our toilet the other day too....Andrew swore it was me, he said "How did this handle break? the chain is missing?" I said I had no idea. He didn't believe me, then yesterday I caught Caden taking the Ceramic top off of the guest toilet and sticking a roll of toilet paper in the back of the tank. Really? Since when do 1 year olds know how to take toilet tops off, and not only that, but set them down carefully, do damage, and then replace it like it never happened! Oh, Caden...back to my original point. The house is a mess. When it gets like this, I get so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start. I just want to crawl in my bed and throw the covers over my head and pretend I don't see any of it. So, any takers?