SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!

CLEAN MY HOUSE!!!! Seriously. It's filthy. Okay, not filthy...because I always sanitize, but there is stuff EVERYWHERE. Ping pong paddles on the floor, stacks of laundry begging to be folded, dishes, empty bottles, recycling containers, CLOTHES...everywhere! Not to mention, most of Caden's toys are in my bathtub, and most of my bath stuff is in Caden's toy box. Why he feels the need to switch them out? I'll never know. I need my cabinets and drawers Caden-proofed. He pulls EVERYTHING out. WHY?! What's so fun about throwing perfume bottles? What's so fun about throwing q-tips everywhere?! I take advice from people "keep your bathroom doors shut" But the little boogar knows how to open them! He broke our toilet the other day too....Andrew swore it was me, he said "How did this handle break? the chain is missing?" I said I had no idea. He didn't believe me, then yesterday I caught Caden taking the Ceramic top off of the guest toilet and sticking a roll of toilet paper in the back of the tank. Really? Since when do 1 year olds know how to take toilet tops off, and not only that, but set them down carefully, do damage, and then replace it like it never happened! Oh, Caden...back to my original point. The house is a mess. When it gets like this, I get so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start. I just want to crawl in my bed and throw the covers over my head and pretend I don't see any of it. So, any takers?

Frumpy.

So, I was looking at pictures of myself the other day before I had kids and it made me sad. I turned to Andrew and said, can you believe that kids made me change this much? My husband, the kind, sweethearted liar that he is, says "You don't look that much different...you just don't ever dress up anymore, that's all". So it got me to thinking. Why don't I dress up anymore? Well...I get spit up on atleast twice a day, Get poop on me every other day, chase kids around, and then by the time my husband gets home I know we're not going anywhere so...whats the point??
Well, I've decided the "point" is that I need to stop being "frumpy".
A friend said to me the other day *I will protect this friend's identity*...."***** thanked me the other day for still dressing up for him and trying to look nice" but she also disclosed that before ************ comes home, she usually takes a shower and get dressed so it looks like she's "actually done something besides sit around in (her) pajamas all day" What a GENIUS idea. I think I'll start doing that to trick my husband into thinking that I have it all together. Not that I do nothing all day, because parenting is a VERY hard job, but I want to avoid being the "frumpy" wife. Maybe one day he'll thank me for my last-minute efforts.

Mischief

Today was going to be hard no matter what. Andrew and I didn't get to sleep until about 2 am because Caden decided to wake up and be extremely hyper at that time. I love when he acts that crazy and funny, but at the same time, I need my sleep. This morning I awoke to Caden pulling my hair, not once, not twice, but three different times. He pulls to take, by the way. I'm missing chunks of my hair. Thanks Andrew for the wake-up call. Anyway, today at lunch time was especially hard. I fed Caden peanut butter and jelly (his favorite) and went to nurse Lily. Caden started to get bored about half way through his lunch, and usually at this time he decides to either a.) throw his food or b.)stand up in his high chair and scream. He did the latter today, thankfully..I hate cleaning peanut butter off of the floors. I put Lily in her swing so I could get up to let him out of his chair. With a peice of the sandwich in his hand, he ran into the front room (the toy room) and started to play with his baseball bat and bouncey ball. As I'm cleaning off his messy jelly stained highchair tray I hear Lily start to scream. Usually when she does this after only 3 minutes in her swing, I know Caden is playing a part.I run towards her chair and expect to see Caden using Lily for batting practice like he usually does...but no, he's just standing there staring at her. "What did you do Caden?", I ask. He replied "aeeeeh?" I pick Lily up and she starts choking. What is she choking on? Sure enough, the last peice of Caden's peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I dislodge it from her mouth and comfort her for about 5 minutes walking around and talking soothingly. She begins to settle right around the time I hear a crash coming from my bathroom. I run in there, with Lily in hand, and the strongest smelling cologne I've ever smelt in my life practically punches me in the face. (I've smelt strong smelling cologne before...I used to be a cashier at a german restaurant where 70 something year old single men eat dinner regularly showered in their finest Old Spice). Anyway, back to my son's mischief... He is sitting on my bathroom floor, with a broken bottle of Aqua di Gio spilled and every last lotion bottle/chapstick/tanning lotion/tweezers/toner/toothpaste/toothbrush...EVERYTHING that we had in our 5 bathroom drawers surrounding him. "Uh Oh".


This...is a typical example of what I go through everyday. I know I'll look back on this in a few years and laugh...but for the next week or so, I'm going to have such a bad headache from cologne fumes that I don't find it nearly as funny.